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tv   Jimmy Kimmel Live  ABC  August 14, 2015 11:35pm-12:38am PDT

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appreciate your time. i'm dan ashley, for drew and colin and all of us, thanks for watching. right now on jimmy kimmle, "the man from uncle." >> dicky: from hollywood, it's "jimmy kimmel live"! tonight -- armie hammer -- from "another period" natasha leggero -- and music from big talk with cleto and the cletones. and now, all kidding aside, here's jimmy kimmel! [ cheers and applause ] ♪
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>> jimmy: appreciate that. hi, everybody. i'm jimmy. i'm the host of the show. thank you for watching. thanks for coming. you know, i have to say -- it's kind of a weird thing. you guys come to what is essentially my place, and then i make you clap for me. for those of you who are visiting, welcome to los angeles, new possible home of the 2024 olympic games. you have been following what's going on for our bid for the olympics? in january the u.s. olympic committee chose boston over l.a., san francisco and washington. each city put together a big presentation. the mayors took the committee members around, business leaders in all the cities tried to impress them. and ultimately, they picked boston as the strongest candidate in the united states. but yesterday, the usoc announced they're withdrawing boston'sed by to host the games --
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[ applause ] >> jimmy: from boston i assume? people in boston don't want the olympics. which is surprising. all the people from boston i know would love to have a bunch of foreigners in their town. they're welcoming, but scott blackman, chief executive the usoc, said in a statement, we have not been able to get a majority of the citizens of boston to support hosting the 2024 olympic and paralympic games. that makes sense. the only thing a majority of citizens in boston support is throwing beer bottles at yankees fans. [ cheers and applause ] it's hard to get everyone together. but now this means the usoc has to come up with another city from the united states to bid against paris, rome, toronto, et cetera. most people think that city will be los angeles -- [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: -- which is exciting. the summer olympics could bring some much-needed traffic to the l.a. area. [ laughter ] i have to say as a los angelino myself, it's kind of messed up. we wanted the games, we put
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ourselves out there they rejected us, they picked boston instead. now that boston isn't interested, they're coming back to us? what are we, justin bieber and selena gomez? [ laughter ] [ cheers and applause ] and i will say this. hey, boston, stop sending us the crap you don't want, first matt damon, now this. we've had enough, right, guillermo? >> guillermo: yeah, enough. enough. >> jimmy: thank you very much. this is kind of funny. this is from the pan-american games. which wrapped up in toronto. there's a man named cam awesome. for real, that is his name. mr. awesome submitted to an interview after losing his match in the semifinals. even though he lost he made a good job of being upbeat. >> tell us what happened out there. >> i thought i was doing a lot of moving and i thought i looked amazing and i thought i won the first round. and i was like, oh, he's going to bring some more the second round. second round came. oh, i won that round as well. cam, keep up the good work. you truly are looking amazing.
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some people say you're the taylor swift of boxing. i'm not saying i'm the taylor swift of boxing but i'm not not saying i'm the taylor swift of laxing. [ laughter ] [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: planning to shake it off or something? taylor swift -- i don't know what that even means. but the interview got better from there. >> cam, what was so tough about rojo, about red? >> very experienced fighter, did some good body shots. but core game. i juice it up. didn't really affect me that much. i thought i worked him. i thought i looked amazing. i would have given myself that fight if i was a judge. but i would say hey, cam, you're so fast. you're working the judges' table. you're in the ring, keep up the good work. [ laughter ] >> jimmy: he's his own life coach. there's a guy to keep an eye on. cam awesome. i looked up his real name. his real name is lenroy, leroy with a "n."
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i think he made the right choice. this is something i wanted to mention. i saw this last night. this is our, i should say was, cecil the lion. beautiful animal. 13 years old. he'd been wearing a gps collar as part of an oxford university research project. they'd been tracking him for years, and during that time, cecil became a local favorite amongst the tourists and guides. he was always around. people loved to see him on safaris until early this month when a tourist on a hunting trip shot him for sport. and of course everyone is angry and upset. last night i read this story. i happened upon this story. and the news report said they suspected it was a spaniard who did it. who shot the animal. and i have to admit when i saw it i was so relieved it wasn't an american. i really was. i was, like, this is terrible. but thank god wasn't one of us for once. and then i went online and found out it was an american, a dentist from minnesota who paid $50,000 to shoot the lion. according to the news he hired a company, he flew to zimbabwe. two locals took him to the national park. they tied a dead animal to the
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back of the jeep to lure the lion out of the park because it's illegal to shoot them in the park. they call it baiting. once they got the lion out of the park they put a spotlight on him, then the dentist shot cecil with a bow is and rare row. the arrow didn't kill the lion so they tracked him and 48 hours later shot him with a gun, skinned him, took the head and left the body this. unfortunately for them the researchers at ox ford who are tracking cecil were able to trace the signal and find the carcass. local authorities found the hunters who they say they realized too late they shot an animal with gps. they tried to destroy the tracking collar but failed to do that. they know who it was. the american hunter, whose name is walt palmer, is currently in hiding. he closed his dental office in bloomington, minnesota. he e-mailed a statement saying to the news saying, i had no idea the lion i took was a known local favorite until the end of the hunt." which first of all stop saying you took the animal. you take aspirin, you killed the lion, you didn't take it. he said, to my knowledge, everything about this trip was
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local and properly handled. i relied on the expertise of my local professional guides to ensure a legal hunt." which okay, good. let's say we accept he thought it was legally, properly handled, didn't know the lion had a tracking collar. the big question is why are you shooting a lion in the first place? i'm honestly curious to know why a human being would feel compelled to do that. how is that fun? is it that difficult for you to get an erection that you need to kill things that are stronger than you? [ laughter ] [ cheers and applause ] if that's the case they have a pill for that it works great. just stay home and swallow it. you save yourself a lifetime of being the most hated man in america who never advertised jell-o pudding on television. [ laughter ] [ applause ] and by the way, i'm not against hunting if you're hunting to eat or help keep the animal population healthy or part of your culture, but if you're some
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a-hole dentist who wants a lion's head over the fireplace in his man cave so his douchebag buddies can gather around and drink scotch and tell him how awesome it is, that's vomitus. this guy must have a collection of animal heads. here he is posing with a bear he shot. in 2008 he was convicted for a felony, for lying about where he killed the bear, in wisconsin he got a year probation for that. this is another lion he killed in 2008. this is a leopard. this is a rhino. he killed like half of noah's ark. and i don't get it. i don't think the answer is to start a witch hunt for the guy. some people online are saying we should skin him and feed him to the lions which -- you know, it's crazy. but it should be handled in a lawful way. and the men who took him out in the jeep should be held accountable too. but in the meantime, i think it's important to have some good come out of the disgusting tragedy. so this is the website for wildlife conservation research unit at oxford.
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wildcru.org. these are the researchers who put the collar on cecil in the first place. they track the animals. study them. if you want to do something and make this into a positive, you could -- sorry. i -- i'm -- okay. i'm good. make a donation to support them. at the very least, maybe we can show the world that not all americans are like this jackhole here, this dentist. [ cheers and applause ] right, guillermo? all right, let's take a break. we're going to take a break. when we come back, we're going to take quite a turn. you know, we've got a very provocative edition of our pedestrian question. we asked people if they have nude pictures of themselves on their cell phones, and we'll see what happens. so we'll be right back. [ cheers and applause ] ♪
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>> jimmy: armie hammer and music from big talk is on the way. i don't know if you heard roger goodell announce he's standing firm on the four-game suspension on tom brady from the new england patriots. [ cheers and applause ] he'll not reduce his sentence. those two over in the corner are upset, but that's about it. the league said tom brady willfully obstructed their deflategate investigation because he instructed his assistant to destroy his cell phone shortly before he was scheduled to meet with investigators. that's their proof? i instruct my assistant to destroy my cell phone all the time, at least once a month. the league assumes tom brady didn't want them to see texts he allegedly sent to team equipment
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managers. i have another theory. maybe he didn't want them to see pictures of his wife or himself on his phone. people keep personal photographs on their phones. we thought this would be a good subject for our "pedestrian question." we went on the street and asked people, do you have any nude pictures of yourself on your phone? and this is how it's going to go. we'll see someone introduce him or herself, and based solely on that introduction, we will decide if he or she has nude portraits on the phone. okay? all right. let's play, here we go. >> my name is melissa, and i am from gainesville, florida. >> do you have any naked pictures of yourself on your phone? >> jimmy: does melissa from gainesville? [ cheers and applause ] one woman says no. let's find out. >> yes. >> you do? >> yes, i do. >> tasteful or weird? >> of course, very tasteful. very tasteful. >> can we see them? >> absolutely not. >> jimmy: that's very good, one good decision. next? >> i'm meagan from san diego. >> do you have any nude pictures of yourself on your phone?
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>> jimmy: megan from san diego? >> no! >> jimmy: i think most of the audience says no. but there are quite a few yeses. the answer is? >> i do not. >> you don't? >> no. >> you have never taken a nude picture? >> i have not. >> why not? >> i don't know. i guess i'm a prude. >> jimmy: i feel like the meaning of the word prude has changed a lot over the years. next up? >> one-eyed bull from australia. >> all right, bull, do you have any nude pictures of yourself on your phone? >> jimmy: does he have pictures from his land down under on the telephone? >> couple, yes. >> may we see them? >> no. it was a bit cold that day. i'm not going to show you that one. >> jimmy: you'd think that beard would keep everything warm. our next phone owner is? >> i'm william vail. >> do you have any nude pictures of yourself on your phone? >> jimmy: all right, does
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william have nude pictures on his phone? most everyone says yes. >> no, i don't. i don't have a phone. >> do you keep your nude pictures anywhere else then? >> no. >> you don't have any? >> i don't have any nude pictures. >> you're too modest to do something like that? >> yeah, yeah. i'm old-fashioned. >> jimmy: real southern gentleman there. you can tell by the bedazzled hat that says sexy on it. next? >> i'm jamie from vancouver, canada. >> all right, jamie, do you have any naked pictures of yourself on your phone? >> jimmy: does jamie lynn from vancouver have naked pictures of herself on the phone? all right. the verdict is? >> yeah. maybe one or two. >> wow. okay, wow. i'm going to -- i'm going to need a minute. can we have your phone for something else unrelated? >> no. >> it's not related, it's a different thing we need to look at the phone for. >> you just want to borrow it for a minute to make a call? >> yeah. just to make a call or whatever. >> no. >> jimmy: that ended in a
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restraining order. we should probably start giving background checks to our employees who work the microphone out there. who else do we have out there? >> rasheen, out of las vegas. >> do you have any nude pictures of yourself on your phone? >> jimmy: does marrsheen? currently out of las vegas, nevada. have nude pictures of himself on his phone? >> of course! >> can we see them? >> hell, no. you got some money? >> jimmy: he's a businessman first. and finally? >> my name is gerald from long beach. >> hi, gerald. do you have any nude pictures of yourself on your phone? >> jimmy: does gerald from long beach have nude photographs of himself on the phone? pretty much everyone says yes, a couple of noes. let's find out. >> possibly. >> yes or no? >> it's possible. might be. i may or may not. >> that sounds like yes to me. >> there have been in the past. >> all right. what kind of pictures? >> well, the normal [ bleep ]
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pics. you know. >> jimmy: the normal stuff. [ cheers and applause ] thanks for sharing that with us, gerald. apologies to gerald's grandkids. thanks to all for playing. tonight on the show, we have music from big talk, natasha leggero is here, and we'll be right back with armie hammer. stick around! ♪ [ cheers and applause ] ♪ come on, come on, come on let me tell you what it's all about ♪ ♪ a-b-c, it's easy as 1-2-3 ♪ as simple as do-re-mi ♪ a-b-c, 1-2-3 baby you and me ♪ 1-2-3 baby you and me, yeah it's easy to get it all, big and small at target.com ♪ i'm gonna teach you how to sing it out ♪ ♪ come on, come on, come on, come let me tell you what it's all about. ♪
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[ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: tonight, from the new show on comedy central called "another period," natasha leggero is here. then, we ran out of time for them last week, but i promise it won't happen again, from las vegas, nevada, their album is called "straight in no kissin'" big talk from the samsung stage. [ cheers and applause ] this is the band helmed by ronnie vannucci, who is the drummer from the killers. tomorrow night, christina applegate will be here, rick springfield will be here and we'll hear music from tyler the creator. and on thursday, jason bateman,
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nicole richie, and music from stephen marley. join us for all that. you know our first guest from "the social network," "j. edgar" and "the lone ranger" too. he is one of the tallest actors in america who teams up next with superman in "the man from u.n.c.l.e." it opens in theaters august 14th. please say hello to armie hammer! [ cheers and applause ] ♪ >> jimmy: welcome. i hope this is not a -- [ cheers and applause ] a new question. do you, and be honest, do you have any nude pictures of yourself on your telephone? >> i was hoping, i was watching the opening monologue, i was hoping you weren't going to ask me this. i found out today i have nude pictures on my phone. i'm not kidding. i went to get my haircut, this is a special occasion. i'm going to be on the kimmel show. i went to get my hair cut. >> jimmy: oh, thank you. >> the lady said, i have a
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daughter, do you have any pictures of your daughter? of course, i've got tons of pictures. i go through my phone. and i get to pictures of my daughter sitting in the sink and she's having the time of her life. i'm showing these pictures. hook how cute she is, she's in the bathtub. after showing her these pictures for 30 seconds i realize i'm standing fully nude in the mirror of this bathroom as i'm showing her these pictures. as quickly and a casually as i can i said, anyway, you get the picture. i didn't want to give it away. i don't know if she noticed anything or if she was enough of a lady not to say something. >> jimmy: on one hand you hope she didn't notice. but on the other hand, if she didn't notice -- >> it's bad news for me. >> jimmy: it's bad, yeah. >> i know, i know. it's, yeah. >> jimmy: maybe next time, super cuts, you know? >> yeah. exactly, yeah. >> jimmy: the last time you were here you had what i deemed a crazy idea. you were planning to go on a cross country trip with a bunch of your buddies on vespas. >> yeah, yeah. >> jimmy: which is like -- it starts off sounding very masculine. then the word vespas comes in.
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and it sounds like tourists in italy. >> totally cuts the feet out of it, i get it. yeah, yeah, yeah. >> jimmy: and i thought you were -- i didn't think you were really going to do it but you really did this. >> you're right and you're wrong. i had this idea. it wasn't a crazy idea. it was a stupid idea. >> jimmy: a stupid idea. okay. >> the dumbest. really, it was so stupid. >> jimmy: you thought it was a great idea the last time you were here. >> halfway through i was like, this is a brilliant idea, everyone on the trip wanted to kill me. >> jimmy: i see. who went on this trip? >> we had a group of us. there were about it's or nine riders and another guy on a bike with a camera and another support vehicle following us. so it wasn't like we completely out there on our own, but, i mean, three of the people had never ridden motorcycles before the trip in their life. >> jimmy: and they still haven't, by the way. [ laughter ] >> no, no, you're totally right. it left some serious scars on people. they're done. i know people who still have never gotten on a bike. absolutely. >> jimmy: these are scooters that you guys were on. in fact, i think we have a picture of this.
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there you guys are, on scooters. we might get run over here. >> this was, we got, well, we started in l.a. we started it at vespa of sherman oaks. we left from there -- >> jimmy: that's where all great journeys begin. >> naturally. and we were like, you know what? first stop, joshua tree. what is that, two and a half hours by car? on vespa, that will be a good first ride. everyone can kind of get their feet wet a little bit. it took us about 13 1/2 hours, and it got down to 14 degrees the first night. >> jimmy: oh, no. >> this is southern california still. so literally we get to joshua tree after about 13 hours of riding. it's 3:00 in the morning at this point. it's well below freezing. and we stop. there were multiple rules, you couldn't pay for lodging, which included campgrounds. hotels, anything like that. >> jimmy: whose rules were these? >> these were my stupid rules. >> jimmy: i see, okay.
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yeah. >> yeah, yeah. you couldn't pay for lodging. you couldn't go to any chain establishment. you couldn't stay anywhere but outside. you could only take what you could carry or strap to your vespa. >> jimmy: okay. all right. >> so the first night -- we're outside of joshua tree. we can't go into joshua tree, we can't afford to stay anywhere. so we find a spot like way outside of joshua tree, and it's freezing. it's well below freezing. so any water that people have is no good. ice at this point. it's rough. and everybody gets off and parks their bike and looks at me and kind of goes, what the [ bleep ] did you do? what did you do? why are we doing this? this is the dumbest idea. and, you know, that was really the trend, all the way through until we made it to the end. >> jimmy: you're like a cult leader. this is ridiculous. >> yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. >> jimmy: your wife didn't go on this trip, did she? >> my wife wouldn't have gone on this if you had paid any amount of money in the world. >> jimmy: i see. yeah, yeah. >> she's like, you guys sound like you're stupid. i know this is a stupid idea. you guys go be stupid. she met us halfway in san
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antonio and met us at the end to the florida keys. who doesn't want a trip to the florida keys, why not. >> jimmy: when you finish in the florida keys, do you then just like drive the vespas into the sea and never get on them again? how does it go? >> if we didn't have to return the vespas, i'm not only certain there are people who would have driven them into the sea, i'm sure there are people who would have lit them on fire. >> jimmy: oh, really. >> oh, yeah. hatred for these things. >> jimmy: that's a long way to go on a vespa. it really is. >> it was 12 hours a day for 21 days. >> jimmy: did you do anything bikerish, like anything crazy or anything like that? >> yeah. things got weird. you have a group of guys crossing the country, staying in the middle of nowhere and all that. i mean, we had some close calls. we had some -- like at one point, we stayed outside of yuma, arizona, and we were like, now we've got to get from yuma to phoenix, but there's no main road except for an interstate that gets you from yuma to phoenix. >> jimmy: that's true. >> yeah. so everyone was like, what do we
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do? so everyone was like, okay, no, we got this, we're fine, we're fine. everybody pulls out google maps, and they're zooming out. they go, it looks like all desert from here to phoenix, but it looks like there's roads. like it doesn't say road, but it looks like there's trails. i think we can make this. so everyone kind of starts, and we get off the pavement onto a dirt road and it's hard packed and everyone's riding and they're like, yeah. this is the adventure, like we're not even on a road, we're really owning this. all of a sudden the road gets a little softer and the vespa goes like this oh, i'm cool. keep riding. then does one of those, what the hell. keep riding. and then all of a sudden the road gets so soft, you can't sit, you have to walk next to your vespa as you're pushing it up a dune. and you're just like, we're going to die out here. we thought we going to die until as we're pushing through the desert this truck that's all white and green and very intimidating with lights on
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comes flying at us out of the middle of nowhere, and we're just like, oh, my god, it's the border patrol. like what have we done? so he basically comes up and goes, what the hell are you guys doing? sir, we're crossing the country on vespas. he goes no, no, no, what are you doing? what drugs are you running? what's the deal? honestly, if you want to pull up your phone, do you have a phone? look up 4kthehardway, it's the whole thing. and he looks it up, and he's giving us the eye, he goes, hey, that's -- that's -- you guys are crazy! it's like, what the hell are you doing in the middle of the desert! he goes, man, i'm really glad i stopped you. we're kind of going, yeah, yeah, us too. glad you're here. he goes, no, because you see that hill right there? and it was, i mean, maybe double the distance across hollywood boulevard. he goes that hill right this is mexico. and if you would have gotten any closer, i wouldn't have been able to let you come back. so we basically were like, ah,
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good story. just don't search the bikes. but whatever you want to do. and he ends up saying to us, he goes, you guys want to see something cool? and we're still nervous at this point that we're being sort of detained by the border patrol, and we go, yeah, of course, of course, anything you want to show us. and he goes, i'll show you some roads that only old drug dealers use. well, we use them, but old drug dealers. we're like, yeah, great, sure. he goes, okay, so i'm going to start driving, and you guys drive on my tire tracks because it will press the sand a little bit and we'll be able to get you guise out of here. and that's how we ended up getting out of the desert from yuma to phoenix. >> jimmy: you are easily the worst travel agent ever. ever. his movie is called "the man from u.n.c.l.e.". we'll be right back. [ cheers and applause ] ♪ but you can still be waiting 2 years to upgrade your phone. your phone is old and weird.
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does this mean anything to you? >> this is a centrifuge. urani uranium. i am not staying here! >> where are you going to go? >> swimming! ♪ >> ah! >> jimmy: that is "the man from u.n.c.l.e." armie hammer.
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in theaters august 14th. i tell you something. i know most movies are not that much fun to make. it looked like that was a fun movie to make. was it a fun movie to make? >> oh, it was the best. every movie's fun to make because you're getting to do what you love. it's a fun job. you're not doing anything serious. you're making movies. you're standing where someone tells you. you say a line someone gives you, you wear clothes someone else hands you. it's not that hard. >> jimmy: you get to wear makeup. really maybe the best thing? >> a perk, it's amazing, come on. but in this case, you're doing a guy with guy richie who everybody has seen a guy richie movie, they're familiar with his sense of style and what he brings to the movie, but what you don't realize is that same sense of fun and style he brings to his movies he also brings to his personal life. when you're sitting on set you're sitting in like a yurt with guitars hanging on the wall and beautiful chairs. you're sitting in the most comfortable things. and then you go down to the amalfi coast and shooting in naples and rome.
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and they try to hand you lunch on a tray, styrofoam tray, and he'll go, what the cuss is this? love, you're not eating that. put that down. and he'll go over to a local fisherman, what did you catch today? we'll take that and that and that. you've got to go cook it. and he'll go cook it. bring it back. and he'll have a white tablecloth put down and wine. the most delicious food. it's unreal. >> jimmy: oh my god. he sounds like he's much better at planning trips than you are. [ laughter ] >> he would have left the vespa trip on the first day, there's no question. >> jimmy: tell me about this. i love fly-fishing. what's going on in this photograph here? >> that's hans zimmer's hat first of all and guy richie's place. he's got like a country place. >> jimmy: he lives in the stream? >> yeah, under the bridge. >> jimmy: what kind of a fish is that, is that a char? >> i think it's a rain -- i really have no idea.
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>> jimmy: it is big. and beautiful. >> i'm also holding it really close to the camera. >> jimmy: it's still pretty big, it really is. if you showed that to her hairstylist she'd definitely notice it. >> she -- yeah, yeah, yeah. there's no hiding that one. >> jimmy: that doesn't sound good, by the way. >> so the guy's got a house in the country. here in the states, if you go, i got a place in the country, you go, oh, it's a ranch. it's dirty. there's no amenities. all that. so you dress like a ranch. you wear jeans, boots. maybe a carhart jacket. this is how i show up to his country house. i get there, he looks at me, he goes, what are you wearing? this is the english countryside. there were so many jokes at my expense at how i dressed like i was coming to a ranch. the next time i came to his house i was like, give me the goofiest jacket. i want those socks with the tassels. i want the goofy hat. >> jimmy: did he like that outfit when you showed up in this? >> no. >> jimmy: he did not? you really can't win. >> first of all, you're wearing that and no one lines it.
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it's lose-lose. >> jimmy: the important thing is you had fun. the movie looks great. "the man from u.n.c.l.e." opens in theaters august 14th. armie hammer, everybody. we'll be back with natasha leggero. [ cheers and applause ] ♪ morediabetes are learning type2 about long-acting levemir®. as my diabetes changed, it got harder to control my blood sugar. today, i'm asking about levemir®. vo: levemir® is an injectable insulin that can give you blood sugar control for up to 24 hours. and levemir® helps lower your a1c. levemir® lasts 42 days without refrigeration. that's 50% longer than lantus®, which lasts 28 days. levemir® comes in flextouch, the latest in insulin pen technology from novo nordisk. levemir® is a long-acting insulin used to control high blood sugar in adults and children with diabetes and is not recommended to treat diabetic ketoacidosis. do not use levemir® if you are allergic
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and that's time that we can invest in our athletes and changing the world. [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: our next guest is a very funny woman who you know from her great appearances on the comedy central roasts. now she has her very own show on that very network. watch "another period" tuesday nights at 10:30 on comedy central. please say hello to natasha leggero. [ cheers and applause ] ♪ >> jimmy: you know, i want to say, of all the very funny people on the comedy central roast, you're one of the very funniest. you've done, what, two of them, right? >> i did the justin bieber and james franco. >> jimmy: those were both great. [ cheers and applause ]
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the justin bieber -- >> i loved doing the one with justin bieber, because i got to smoke a joint with snoop. during the show. he was just smoking. >> jimmy: i don't believe that. >> he does whatever he wants. he was smoking a joint during the whole thing. >> jimmy: it's part of his thing. he really can't even, it's his thing. you can't challenge it. he smokes pot, and that's that. and the law has to work around him. >> the law has to work around him. >> jimmy: he's like willie nelson, he just does it. will you be part of this year's roast of bill cosby? have you heard? i'm announcing that tonight. did you befriend anyone besides snoop on the dais? >> martha stewart, she was great, by the way. >> jimmy: she was high, right? >> she was not high. but i heard -- i don't know. okay. anyway. she sent me as a gift some sheets. because everyone was making fun of like having sex on her linens. so she like sent linens and was
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like, do what you want with these, it was very funny. >> jimmy: how did she know what size your bed was, did she guess? >> they didn't fit. i threw them away. no, i didn't throw them away. they're somewhere, they're somewhere. i told the cleaning lady to cut them up and scrub the floors with them. no, no, that's not true. >> jimmy: just as martha would have wanted it. >> but martha invited me to her garden in the letter. i keep calling. i keep e-mailing her assistant, trying to get into her garden and they always tell me she's gone. >> jimmy: oh, yeah, yeah. why do you want to go to her garden? >> because it's peony season. i don't know. i'm sure it's impressive. >> jimmy: i feel like she probably doesn't have a garden, it's some garden they take pictures of for the magazine and it belongs to someone else but martha pops in. >> for the photo shoots? inn yeah. in her light denim shirt once in a while. holds up a little -- >> her chambray onesie. >> jimmy: i heard you're getting
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married. you're engaged to be married. to whom are you engaged? >> thank you. thanks for clapping, audience. [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: they want to make sure you're making the right decision. >> he's a comedian, moshe kasher. >> jimmy: okay, all right. [ cheers and applause ] >> jimmy: how long have you been dating? >> three years. >> jimmy: that's good. >> is that a good enough amount of time? >> jimmy: a solid amount of time. i am so nervous. i don't want to plan a wedding. it seems terrible. >> jimmy: that's where you get martha stewart to help you. >> oh! >> jimmy: that's where she's perfect. >> but yeah, so i'm so nervous. my family's coming out. and they're all going to get together. and like my parents haven't talked in 20 years, and they're all going to be in my yard. >> jimmy: are they going to stay with you, your parents? >> no! [ laughter ] but like the last time my family was together was at my nana's funeral. and my brother -- i live in rockford, illinois -- or i'm
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from okayed for, illinois. my brother who lives in a van that he put an address on, he, in rockford, he used to live there. he, during the eulogy or whatever it's, yeah, like when they're talking, he just goes i [ bleep ] love you, nana! >> jimmy: oh, no. no, he did not. >> yes. so i have no idea what's going to happen at the wedding. >> jimmy: something bad is going to happen, yeah. is he going to drive the van out to the wedding? >> he wants to. >> jimmy: so he will have someplace to stay, then, that's good. >> no, he just has to park it around the corner. >> jimmy: and is your fiance, does he have a crazy family as well? >> his family is pretty cool. >> jimmy: thank god. you don't want two of them. >> they're actually deaf. but they're very cool. >> jimmy: even better. even better. >> that's actually perfect. >> jimmy: i'm glad i brought that up. that's true, isn't it? >> yeah. >> jimmy: yeah, it is, okay. >> i mean his mother, not the
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whole family. >> jimmy: okay, all right. >> but his mother and louie get along great. they've already met. maybe i could put them -- >> jimmy: no, do not put his mother in the van with your brother. now this show of yours, which is very funny. it's a strange combination of ideas. >> i know. it's another period. it's not about my period. it takes place -- it's a reality show that takes place in 1902. >> jimmy: a period comedy. >> a period comedy. so it's basically like if the kardashians moved into downton abbey. >> jimmy: yes. >> true stuff happening in america in newport, rhode island at the turn of century. >> jimmy: what about it is true? what's the true stuff that was happening? >> it's insane. if you go to newport and take these housing tours you hear about these people in tonight's episode, ben stiller who's playing charles ponzi, the inventor of the ponzi scheme, a real person. we give him the gift of a child who wears a turban around his head and is a whipping boy. that's something i read.
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consuela vanderbilt, like from history, she's like anderson cooper's great, great grandmother? >> jimmy: gloria vanderbilt's -- i see. >> she was gifted. they just went to asia. found this orphan and gave it to her. and not to be part of the family, just to be her servant, and they put it in this costume and this child had to wait on her. but this is a human being! >> jimmy: yours is named taboo in the show, right? >> taboo. >> jimmy: yeah, that's nice. yeah. ben stiller is in it? >> ben stiller is in it. >> jimmy: a producer of the show. the show's very funny. is it fun to get into these big, crazy outfits? it seems to be a nightmare to me. >> i love it, but, you know, yeah. >> jimmy: everyone else is mad? >> everyone else is mad. the microphone people are mad, what do you call them, the sound people? >> jimmy: yeah, in the business. yeah. sometimes audio if we get real fancy. congratulations on your show. and your nuptials. [ cheers and applause ]
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i hope you make it to martha stewart's garden. >> me too! martha, call me! >> jimmy: martha, call her for god's sake. "another period" tuesday nights on comedy central. and we shall return with music from big talk. ♪ [ cheers and applause ] >> dicky: the jimmy kimmel live concert series is presented by samsung. notice how this breakfast burrito starts with the basic tortilla, but then inside... it's stuffed with tender, juicy, sliced steak. whoa whoa...slow down...what? i said steak. in a breakfast burrito? i can't keep up. this is advanced burrito, right? this is intro to burrito. boom. jack's new steak & egg breakfast burrito's got tender, juicy steak, scrambled eggs,
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and creamy sriracha sauce, all wrapped in a warm tortilla. lookin' for a basic burrito? this ain't it.
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>> dicky: the jimmy kimmel live concert series is presented by samsung. >> jimmy: i feel like suzanne summers. i want to thank all my guests and apologize to matt damon, we ran out of time. "nightline" is next, but first this is the album "straight in, no kissin" here with the song "i've been sentimental lately," big talk. [ cheers and applause ] ♪ ♪ i wrote a song hey can you believe it i wrote a song just
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for you ♪ ♪ and baby you can take it or leave it ♪ ♪ i don't care really what you choose ♪ ♪ i remember we were so lovey lovey lovey then you'd bleed me to deceive the lovey-dovey ♪ ♪ you put away your love babe so i see through to you ♪ ♪ well i got a better place for you i got a better idea you sit and laugh ♪ ♪ come on lady careful what you say don't leave me too long honey ♪ ♪ ain't it just your way we could move the needle baby you can see it's true ♪ ♪ i've been sentimental lately do all of this for you ♪ ♪ ain't that your style though
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to deceive the lovey dovey ♪ ♪ now you leave me stuck here with the ghost of your perfume ♪ ♪ and you can call me when you hear it no one ever wrote a song for me ♪ ♪ ah baby you just walk me into the scene of the crime ♪ ♪ you didn't come all that way just for me ♪ ♪ oh well i got a better place for you i got a better idea you sit and laugh ♪
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♪ come on lady careful what you say don't leave me too long honey ain't it just your way ♪ ♪ we could move the needle baby you can see it's true ♪ ♪ i've been sentimental lately i do all of this for you ♪ ♪ ♪ ♪ ♪ come on lady careful what you say don't leave me too long honey ♪
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♪ ain't it just your way we could move the needle baby i leave it up to you ♪ ♪ i've been sentimental lately i do all of this for you ♪ ♪ come on lady careful what you say don't leave me too long honey ♪ ♪ ain't it just your way we could move the needle baby i leave it up to you ♪ ♪ i've been sentimental lately i do all of this for you ♪ ♪
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this is "nightline." >> tonight the fresh uproar over cecil the lion's killer. new scrutiny on american dentist walter palmer as abc obtains photos from palmer's illegal kill here in the u.s. >> plus, scaling new heights. attempting the impossible climb. three of the world's most intrepid expedition climbers try to conquer one of the world's mountain peaks. braving some of the most extreme weather conditions on the planet. and why this mountain is known as the anti-everest. >> and a look inside the life of country music's newest rise young star. michael ray.

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